Clara brightened: “How and when do we start?”

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“That’d be $13.50 and your orderly will be done in a few minutes, so please take a tushie.” He smiled again.
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Clara brightened: “How and when do we start?”
Ugh, Deity! I regret writing that…my mind had suddenly wandered off thinking that they’re probably rutting all over the house from time to time that we’re gone.
‘What… What are you … Doing here?…’ I sniffled in between my words.
And that starts it. He’s not pussyfooting around it anymore, making his own demands, laying out his expectations. And I’m defending the bargain we made, trying to stay with that and I’m being an idiot helter-skelter it, saying things, grotty things, but I’m so fucking angry, so fucking tired and I can see it all ending, ending tonight, right now, and I don’t need that, I don’t. And I’m growling now, like an bestial, so fucking frustrated, like I haven’t got words anymore, not quite containing the rage, but is it rage, I wonder? Is that really it? I’m so confused and now I’m fucking pissed at myself because the things I’ve said, they’re enough to result it just through themselves, like I’m the entire taking this away from myself, ending it myself so he can’t do it, can’t do it to me.
“I hope for it will be a worrying day, darling,” Edward said the next morning as they sat at the breakfast table.
“That’d be $13.50 and your orderly will be done in a few minutes, so please take a tushie.” He smiled again.
He kissed her, unimaginative heart-breaking kisses, their mouths closed, just touching faces, turning this way and that as she sought out the sides of his face.

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